Spurs’ Solanke helps send Manchester United out amid chaotic Carabao Cup tie | Carabao Cup

Like a song that hellishly changes time signatures, like a friend who inexplicably blanks you, like a match report that fades away for ages instead of just telling you what happened, Tottenham Hotspur remain medically unable to to do things the simple way. This is becoming a kind of mania, an affliction, a cry for help. What is this? Who are you really? And you know, you can’t?

For all this, Ange Postecoglou’s side are Carabao Cup semi-finalists, the latest plot twist in a season where no one can really agree on whether things are going well or not. Fantastic football. But also some terrible football. But also two games from a trophy. But also number 10 in the Premier League. But also two goals for the brilliant Dominic Solanke. But also two goals that were largely given away by Fraser Forster.

At least Tottenham’s late fourth goal, curled in directly from a corner, buried any illusions Ruben Amorim may have harbored about the extent of the mess that still awaits him. For all their newfound energy, Manchester United still look deeply uncomfortable in defence, deeply troubled by teams making them turn and run. For an hour, Spurs tore them up, Dejan Kulusevski and James Maddison running amok, Yves Bissouma a pillar of balance in midfield.

And this was the version of Spurs that Postecoglou wished he could roll up in a duffel bag and take with him everywhere, full of hard running and clever angles and flick after flick. This is the Spurs when it all makes sense. When the players are basically interchangeable because the parts are meant to swap anyway. Djed Spence, a right back as a left back. Archie Gray, a center half midfielder. Kulusevski on the right, but occasional moonlight on the left. Passages of humming chaos where possession is lost, regained, lost again, regained again, to the point where you’re not quite sure if they’re attacking or defending.

Those were the combinations that produced the first goal as Maddison was booked and then took a short free kick himself, Pedro Porro with the final shot from distance, Altay Bayindir parried the ball but only into the path of Solanke who buried the rebound first time free from a post. The stadium – as is fairly common this season – rose but didn’t roar, and the sheer fluke of the goal threw them a bit, perhaps warning them of a lead just a little too easy for comfort.

United’s plan, on the other hand, was not easy to read. Early spells quickly morphed into something more reactive, a defensive shell indicative of a team not yet comfortable in its own skin, thinking about individual futures rather than collective enterprise. No one wanted to make a mistake. No one wanted to be the man caught out of position. “Tara Marcus,” read a banner in the North Stand, where the United fans had gathered: a reminder, in those early days, of how disorientingly quickly the ground can shift beneath you.

It was still unreadable when Spurs doubled their lead 47 seconds into the second half, another triumph of familiarity over novelty. As Son Heung-min drove through the middle, as Maddison overlapped down the left while Kulusevski controlled his run towards goal, United were still grasping for phantoms, herding and narrowing, seeking each other out rather than the opposition, a safety in numbers that really was none safety at all. Kulusevski slammed the ball in from close range after a failure to clear Lisandro Martínez.

And for all the vague Jesus vibes that have dogged Amorim around his first few weeks at the club, this was perhaps a valuable reminder that these are still the same players who thrashed and flailed so ineffectively under Erik ten Hag, a combination of the once good enough, the potentially good enough and the not quite good enough. Solanke made it 3-0 after a mix-up involving Jonny Evans introduced for the injured Victor Lindelöf: yes, those guys are still hanging around the place.

That was it, pretty much: at least, unless the Spurs did something unbelievably stupid. Like giving the ball away to Bruno Fernandes five yards from goal. Or let Amad Diallo tackle the ball into the net from a Tottenham goal kick. Well, you won’t believe what happened next!

First, Forster and Radu Dragusin shared an awkward moment, Fernandes stole in and substitute Joshua Zirkzee got a tackle into an empty net from two yards: the sort of range from which Zirkzee, and indeed your most senior relative, is absolutely lethal. Next Forster rattled a clearance, Diallo put in a speculative effort and Forster – a man older than many countries – dutifully hit the ball straight at him.

There were a couple of late scares and even after Son scored from a corner, Evans headed in from a United corner to bring some undeserved danger into the dying seconds. But Spurs held on as they cling to the dream of a first trophy since 2008. It would be a deeply strange thing to happen. But the Spurs are becoming a deeply strange team.