‘Hot Frosty’ is good for your mental health, I say

Christmas movies can be a balm for the soul in dark, dark times. At their best, they remind us of the kindness that lies in the hearts of humanity. And at their worst, they’re still pretty unabashedly happy. Now I won’t promise you Hot Frosty — a new Netflix release about a snowman who becomes a real, human man — is on par with holiday classics like A Christmas Story, Home Alone, Elf, Love Actually, or even Gremlins. However, I can assure you that it is a delightful treat that is sure to conjure up 90 minutes of seasonal bliss.

Yes, yes, there are hordes of Hallmark movies to choose from, and Netflix has their own selection of Christmas Eve – including footage of a cozy fireplace. But believe me, Hot Frosty should be your go-to when you need a break from the worry, stress and general panic of being alive at this very intense time. Just let this be the mental massage of silliness and cuteness to work out those knots in your muscles and wrinkles in your brain.

So if you could use a break from your brain or the world, indulge yourself Hot Frosty.

Yes, Hot Frosty is about a hunky snowman come to life.

Meet Jack the Snowman. And his nipples.
Credit: Screenshot / YouTube

Written by Russell Hainline, Hot Frosty plays to the holiday rom-com cliches that fans have come to love. After writing the screenplay for a number of festive films (In cheerful measure andSanta’s Summit, plus the upcoming movies Three Wise Men and a Baby, Santa’s Class, and Christmas under the lights), Hainline is no stranger to these traditions, and he honors them with both a keen awareness and a sense of playfulness. As such Hot Frosty is set in a quaint little town called Hope Springs, the kind of place where everyone knows the kind-hearted widow, Kathy (Wild girls‘ Lacey Chabert), a diner owner who does her best to feed and care for her neighbors – and bare-chested snowmen.

Amidst a festive holiday fair decked with red-and-green decorations and alive with Christmas R&B, an unconventional snowman is carved with long locks of hair, a bare chest, sharp nipples and chiseled abs. Of course, caring Kathy presents him with a long red scarf to buffer him from the cold and give him a sense of dignity from the waist down. Well, there must have been some magic in the long red scarf she found, because when she put it around his neck, he began to turn… into a flesh and blood man named Jack (Schitt’s Creek‘s beloved vet Dustin Milligan).

Of course, after some comical misunderstandings, he finds his way to Kathy and soon enough into her heart, mending her grief through lots of Golden Retriever energy. He is hunky, handy and hot: masculine in a strictly non-toxic sense. For Jack, being a real man means helping others, like the bunch of old ladies who could use a handyman (and a cheap thrill) thanks to a handsome, giving stranger. Jack’s caring nature, along with his willingness to share his loving feelings—not to mention those ripped arms—make him a great choice for cuffing season. He also enjoys making Christmas cookies, understands the joy of cold pizza, gives her a place to express her sadness, and is often shirtless! What’s not to love?

Terminator is the source of Hot Frostys central conflict.

Credit: Netflix

Props to Hainline and director Jerry Ciccoritti for making the most of Jack’s transformation scene. It’s not that the visuals are awe-inspiring so much as the craziness that follows, which is a mix of Austin Powers humor and Terminator plot points. When Jack comes to life, he is wearing only the long red scarf that gives a scene that is slightly spicy as the generous knit covers his crotch no matter how he moves. Like the newly arrived Terminator in James Cameron’s 1984 sci-fi classic (which has influenced countless holiday stories), Jack arrives in this world naked and in dire need of clothes. So he turns to crime!

After accidentally wandering in front of a startled elderly couple, he doesn’t beat up a biker for dressing up. Instead, Jack breaks into the local thrift store, Reclaimed Rags, to grab some duds. Specifically, he takes some boots and a denim jumpsuit that’s missing its sleeves, a perfect showcase for Jack’s buff biceps. So public indecency, burglary and theft – that’s the closest this charming town has ever had to a crime spree. The office‘s Craig Robinson brings a hilarious intensity as the sheriff to the case, while Joe Lo Truglio hearkens back to his Brooklyn Nine-Nine days as the bumbling partner/sidekick who of course gives Jack love advice. But whether it’s getting close to Kathy or being locked up in the local jail, Jack is in danger as he melts when things get heated.

Yes! The only downside to this faithless fellow is that he is cold to the touch and melts in hot weather. (See, the song warned us.) This means that Jack often has to frolic in snow to maintain his physique, and that sex with this snowman would be cool for Kathy at best and deadly for Jack at worst. But don’t dwell on it. For one thing, these Christmas-time lovers aren’t moving fast enough for it to matter yet, and for another, this is a Netflix movie. Such questions are better suited to our own lascivious musings than to Hainline’s cheerful holiday script.

Hot Frosty is a himbo story that is good for you.

Credit: Netflix

This Netflix Christmas movie presents the pillars that audiences expect: festive setting, charming would-be lovers, seasonal music, holiday obstacle and a happy ending. But Hainline puts a bow on his gift of silly joy by populating Hope Springs with lovable oddballs who are all too willing to believe that the inexplicably warm snowman from the town square Christmas display is a real live man, now offering to help them repair their home, put up glass panels or rescue the lovely young widow from her grief.

For example, there’s cheeky doctor Dottie, who, after taking her temperature (30 degrees!) is quick to say, “Look, everything about Christmas: Santa Claus, elves, flying reindeer – the scientist in me knows they shouldn’t exist. But wouldn’t the world be a little bit better if they did?” She then argues that Jack being a snowman come to life is the “simplest explanation” for why he’s a warm guy whose skin is icy cold. It’s just science, the film suggests; just go with it. And yes, do it. There is a genuine pleasure in sliding down the ridiculous roller coaster that is Hot Frosty’s premise, where a warm, naïve but very sweet man is the perfect Christmas wish – for Kathy and for any of us who might need a little comfort from a cold, cold world.

How to watch: Hot Frosty now streaming on Netflix.