Hats off to Jaguar’s ‘inclusive’ new branding: now people of all backgrounds won’t buy its cars | Marina Hyde

There are many eve-of-the-offensive conversations I would love to have been a fly on the wall for. Inside the Trojan Horse, for example, with the ancient Greek SAS unit teasing away the day before heading out on their daring wee-hours raid. Or inside Jaguar’s marketing department, the night before their new rebrandas these crack experience troops ready to unleash this week’s new ad in an unsuspecting luxury car market. Imagine the champagne corks popping as the social groups are timed to post the video at the appointed time. “I hope the pre-order guys are ready for a stampede – because we’ve got eight different big D-models in category-five tulle jumping out of a pink-planet lift with a hammer – and exactly NO cars! Let’s make a little sales story!”

Yet. It’s arguably gone a little worse than the wooden horse, which, when you think about it, was one of the most successful high-performance vehicles in history/mythology. Sure, it was oversized, overly reliant on heritage materials and probably took corners like a supertanker – and yet I defy you not to take my hat off. No one said urban warfare couldn’t be whimsical and design-led.

Back today, meanwhile, marketing folklore is already building around the Jaguar campaign, which debuted this week to reactions ranging from vocal confusion to vocal derision. As far as I can tell, the best this ad’s defenders can come up with is “the internet is talking about it”, which these days feels a bit like that episode of South Park where some goblins devise a business plan that runs: 1. Collect underpants. 2nd? 3. Profit.

Not that there aren’t various people who openly say they absolutely love it, even though it’s clearly tired and boring and about as “brave” as “using your platform” at the Oscars. But the one thing we can be absolutely sure of is: not a single one of these defenders will buy a single one of these cars. And – regrettable news flash – selling cars do remain the core mission of a car company. In fact, funnily enough, there aren’t even any cars to buy for a while because Jaguar will now stop production completely for at least a year, with three new electric cars not on sale until 2026. They will costs almost twice as much what a current Jag does, with the company claiming this ad announces its intentions to reach younger, wealthier people it idealises as “cash-rich, time-poor”. Hence this “breaking from the category trope”, which for some reason reminds me of the political activists who tell you that they don’t need the old voters – they can get new, better ones.

In Adweek, the head of strategy for Interbrand was one of them everything goes counter-intuitivelyand praises Jaguar for “showing off as a creative company rather than a car manufacturer”. Hmm. It feels like praising a bottom-of-the-table team for showing itself as a creative business rather than a football side.

The big question is how on earth it all happened. Remarkably, there’s no rogue outside agency to blame for going off-piste and persuading dodgy old Jaguar bosses – painfully aware that they are sold out six to one of their Tata Motors stablemate Land Rover – to take a last ditch big turn. No, it was all done in-house.

But the main culprit is timing. Such large swings take months to report, and when the concept of this campaign was approved, it must have seemed perfect for its moment. Various media have unearthed a clip of its brain to receive an award just a month ago, when he announces with a clear expression of self-congratulation that Jaguar has established as many as 15 DEI groups. Righto. There is something ridiculous about a guy who is ready to roll out cars that start at a hundred thousand and boasts of being mega-inclusive. It reminds me of the time Coutts knocked out Nigel Farage and said they were “above all” committed to being an “inclusive organisation”. To which the only answer is: you are a private bank where people must have at least 3 million. £ in cash savings to open a current account. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Do you include low income, middle income or even the vast majority of high income? So in all honesty – pipe down.

Unfortunately, Jaguar seems to have received the downsizing memo too late, declaring this week that: “This is a regeneration that recovers the essence of Jaguar, returning to the values ​​that once made it so loved, but making it relevant to a contemporary audience. We are creating Jaguar for the future and restoring its status as a brand that enriches the lives of our customers and the Jaguar community.” OK! Well, counterpoint: you’re spouting a tired mess, two weeks after a Donald Trump election victory, and amid the undeniable sense that there’s been a shift in mood in the era of vigilante capitalism that’s confused and delighted consumers for the past few years . years, in distinctly unequal measures. In some ways, the timing of this ad is reminiscent of all those Sunday newspaper columns that viciously exposed Princess Diana, which – print lead times being what they were – hit the papers just as the world was waking up to the news of her death. There had been, to repeat the point, a change of mood.

The effect is to make Jaguar’s new ad an instant term. Or to put it another way: while it may have been infinitely less iconic in terms of design, there’s a sense that that boost in the Jag ad has really turned out to be a secret weapon. The problem is that it points the wrong way. Jaguar has Trojans itself.

• Marina Hyde is a columnist for the Guardian

• A Year at Westminster: John Crace, Marina Hyde and Pippa Crerar. On Tuesday 3 December, join Crace, Hyde and Crerar as they look back on an unprecedented political year, live at the Barbican in London and live streamed globally. Order tickets here or at guardian.live

• Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words via email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.