This TV reboot just doesn’t click

At first glance, Prime Video’s Cruel intentions (a loose, modern adaptation of the beloved 1999 film of the same name) has all the familiar elements: There’s sex, creepy step-siblings, night dolls in the pool, cocaine hidden in a cross necklace, and even a catchy “Bittersweet Symphony”- remix. But all the nostalgia in the world can’t make up for how completely meh this eight-episode drama feels in comparison to the Sarah Michelle Gellar vehicle from a quarter of a century ago.

Created by Phoebe Fisher and Sara Goodman (the minds behind Prime’s I know what you did last summer series), Cruel intentions set at the elite Manchester College in Washington, DC, centers on ultra-privileged stepsisters Caroline (Sarah Catherine Hook) and Lucien (Zac Burgess) and their classmates. There is sweet and innocent Annie (Savannah Lee Smith), who is also the daughter of the US Vice President; CeCe (Sara Silver), who talks a mile a minute and worships the ground Caroline walks on; frat boys Blaise and Scott (portrayed by John Harlan Kim and Khobe Clarke, respectively); and fiery anti-Greek life activist Beatrice (Brooke Lena Johnson). Sean Patrick Thomas is the film’s only returning cast member – except here, he tackles Professor Hank Chadwick.

Minus the slightly older characters and heavy focus on Greek life, the show follows more or less the same premise as the ’99 movie (a retelling of Dangerous connectionswhich itself was an adaptation of the 1782 French novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses): Horrible step-siblings with burning sexual tension make a bet to preserve their reputation and power. Caroline, determined to get Annie to pledge for her companionship, asks the extremely horny Lucien to seduce the VP’s daughter in exchange for the one girl he could never have: her. “Me like you’ve always wanted, for up to an hour” doesn’t quite hit the mark like Sarah Michelle Gellar’s iconic “you can put it anywhere” line, but it deserves a few points for effort.

Honestly, the Caroline/Lucien/Annie triangle itself is… okay? Cruel intentions‘ biggest problem is that it just Really, really doesn’t seem like an ensemble show. Instead of spending ample time developing Lucien and Annie’s relationship and getting viewers invested in them, the show gets bogged down by a million unnecessary storylines. The Greek life substance starts to drag in the second episode and frankly most of the drama is pretty boring. (Are sororities too exclusive? Should frats be banned? Who cares? Back to the juicy stuff!) There’s also plenty of screen time spent on CeCe and Professor Chadwick’s relationship, as well as the complicated dynamic between Blaise and Scott, but both storylines are trope, predictable, and oddly out of step with the main premise. Obviously, all the characters are meant to be nods to the ’99 version (CeCe is the counterpart to Selma Blair’s Cecile, for example), but it feels like half of them got lost on the way to Gossip Girl and just wandering around here in confusion.

Who exactly is this show for? Even the writers don’t seem to know. The series plays it safe in some ways (“Who’s that f—slur now?!” is a word-for-word line), but goes much further than the movie in other ways. If the creepy step-sibling stuff isn’t enough to make you squirm, there are also abortion jokes, false allegations of sexual harassment, and something in the last episode (you’ll know it when you get to it) that so absolutely horrible, even a three hour long shower won’t be enough to get rid of the dirty feeling. For all the ways in which the film version has not aged well, it was also somewhat progressive, exploring sex through a feminist lens, with Kathryn’s monologue “I’m the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side” still holding up in day. . The 2024 show, on the other hand, isn’t particularly interested in getting deep into, well, much of anything. If you squint, it is power have something to say about the class. (“You smell of ivory soap and desperation. You’ve been out to fuck some poor thing.”)

But here’s the thing: Despite all these caveats, the series is still very watchable in a guilty pleasure kind of way. In fact, it’s annoyingly addictive at some points. The young cast is clearly talented, and like all the CW stars that came before them, they do their best to make the ridiculous dialogue and batshit storylines digestible. Sarah Catherine Hook is exceptional as the ruthless Caroline, although the writing doesn’t do her justice. Savannah Lee Smith, fresh off a run as Monet in Gossip Girl rebootis also a standout: Annie is the total opposite of Monet, and Smith’s stellar performance here proves her range as an actress.

Cruel intentions isn’t a total waste of time, but the overall concept just doesn’t work very well as a show. And that is hardly surprising. This is literally the third attempt to turn the ’99 movie into a TV project. Fox first attempted to make a prequel series in late 1999, only for it to be canceled. It was then turned into a direct-to-video film, Cruel Intentions 2 (which was followed by Cruel Intentions 3), and it was so poorly received that no one seems to remember it existed. In 2015, NBC picked up a new one Cruel intentions pilot, which would center on Sebastian (Ryan Philippe) and Annette’s (Reese Witherspoon) teenage son, with Gellar confirmed to reprise her role as Kathryn. However, it never went to series. Something is clearly not clicking.

In the end, maybe it’s time for Hollywood executives to put this whole dream of a successful one Cruel intentions franchise in bed and just let Les Liaisons Dangereuses finally, finally rest. After all, it is more than 242 years ago.

Cruel intentions premieres November 21 on Prime Video