Kimmel, Colbert and several late-night hosts respond

On November 8, 2024By Littum

The 2024 presidential election is over, and late night hosts are here to sort through the aftermath.

After former President Donald Trump defeated Vice President Kamala Harris to become the 47th president of the United States, the comedians tried to console viewers of their shows Wednesday night while sharing the disappointment of the Republican candidate’s victory. They also emphasized their commitment to continue providing laughter in what they characterized as a bleak time for America.

Jimmy Kimmel, who has often traded barbs with Trump on social media, opened his show with a skit in which he is seen frantically packing in his office.

“I’m leaving the country,” he announces. “I can’t stay here another four years. Who knows what he’s going to do? … He said he has a list of enemies. Do you think I’m not on that list?”

After his sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, convinced him to stay in the segment (before declaring that he was leaving to go “back to Mexico”), Kimmel began his monologue by joking that Trump won the election after falsely claiming , that he lost in 2020 due to widespread voter fraud.

“I guess this election was not rigged,” he said. “It’s weird though, isn’t it? I mean, he said it would be rigged. He said it was rigged while people were standing in line voting! Isn’t it remarkable that the fix wasn’t included this time? Last time the Democrats cheated This time we chose not to.”

Comparing Trump to Emperor Palpatine from the “Star Wars” franchise, who returned from apparent death in “The Rise of Skywalker,” the comedian said: “Donald Trump is like the Emperor from ‘Star Wars.’ He’s old, he’s evil, and he keeps coming back without any reasonable explanation.”

Kimmel told viewers his “kids were very upset” by Trump’s victory, and he got choked up as he described Tuesday as a “terrible night.”

“It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants who make this country go, for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech,” he said. . “It was a terrible night for poor people, for the middle class, for seniors who depend on Social Security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for truth and democracy and decency.”

“It was a terrible night for everyone who voted against him, and guess what? It was a bad night for everyone who voted for him, too. You just don’t know yet.”

But Kimmel took comfort in the fact that “we’ve been through this once before” during Trump’s first term. “And yes, this time it’s probably going to be worse, maybe a lot worse. But I also think that maybe we’ll look back and realize that in the long run, that’s what we needed to wake us up. Maybe people who cares so much for him, must find out how little he cares for them.”

He also joked about the idea that Trump will jail him and his co-hosts after taking office. “My only request to President-elect Trump is that he let me share a jail cell with Taylor Swift.”

Stephen Colbert: ‘It’s really hard to see a bright side here’

On CBS, Stephen Colbert opened “The Late Show” with a serious message delivered to the camera behind his desk. “If you watch this show regularly, I guess you’re not doing well,” the comic said, before explaining that he’s grateful to host the show because “at times like this, what would we rather be ? Not alone.”

In his monologue, Colbert said the “deep shock and sense of loss is enormous” after Trump’s victory and concluded that the president-elect’s supporters “don’t care that much about democracy.”

“Who knows what the next four years will be like?” he said. “What we do know is that we’re going to be ruled by a monstrous child surrounded by cowards and uglies, and my brain keeps pumping out an unlimited supply of ramifications. It’s really hard to see a bright side here.”

“This is gross,” he continued to say. “The last time Trump won, it felt like a grotesque fluke. This time, America knew exactly what they were getting, and they went hard for him anyway.”

Like Kimmel, the “Late Show” host found a bright side: the fact that “we know what’s coming” in another Trump term because he’s already been president.

“It’s like the first time you go to your kid’s spring concert, nobody could possibly prepare you for 25 second graders playing the recorder,” he joked. “But your next child, you’re ready. You packed earplugs. No amount of ‘Frère Jacques’ could break you.”

Colbert finished by jokingly asking, “Can we just tell Jimmy Carter she won?” The 39th president voted for Harris at age 100 after telling his family he would live long enough to do so.

“And so Jimmy Carter can tell me she won?” he added.

Seth Meyers: ‘The fight for justice does not end with one election’

Seth Meyers kicked off “Late Night” by sarcastically acting like the fact that he voted for Harris would be a surprising revelation.

“I don’t think Donald Trump is a good person,” he said. “I’d even go so far as to say he’s a bad person. Now, in my defense, I’m only basing that on everything I’ve ever been taught about what makes someone good or bad.”

“But this is something I accept: Half the country thinks he’s a good person, or they don’t care that he’s not because they think he’s a good president,” he continued. “And because of that, he’s going to be our president again. That’s how democracy works in America, a country that’s a privilege to live in, even on a morning like today.”

During a “Closer Look” segment, Meyers described Trump’s first term as a “nightmare that plunged the nation into unrelenting disaster and caused mass suffering for millions of Americans” and cracked that to get through his second term, “they will have to give me the drugs they give Trump.”

“We are stepping over the precipice into truly uncharted territory,” he added. “You only have to look back at Trump’s first term to get a sense of how dangerous his second term will be, and nobody can say they didn’t know what they were getting, because Trump made it crystal clear. All I know , is that the fight for justice does not end with one election.”

Jimmy Fallon: ‘America decided to get back with a crazy ex’

On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon proclaimed that by re-electing Trump, “America decided to go back with a crazy ex,” saying, “No matter who you voted for, I think all Americans can agree, it’s going to be a tough Thanksgiving.”

“It was a big night for Donald Trump and a big night for Don Julio,” he said, referring to the tequila brand. “51% of the country is really happy, 47% is really hungover, and (Rudy Giuliani) is both.”

Kimmel, Colbert and Fallon all referenced the fact that Google searches for “these Joe Biden fell out” spiked on Election Day — and all three had the same punchline. “Most of those searches were from Joe Biden,” Fallon said.

Taking time for some entertainment news, the “Tonight Show” host noted that Netflix confirmed Wednesday that the final season of “Stranger Things” will arrive in 2025, a story the comedian quickly returned to the election. “After last night,” he said, “how much weirder can things really get?”