Eagles simply can’t lose game as Cooper DeJean and Reed Blankenship pull up in matching “exciting white” shirts

The New England Patriots cornered the market on white receivers during the height of their dynasty. It was a brilliant move that clearly paid off in several championships. When the whole world swings, the really big teams wobble.

So the Philadelphia Eagles decided to break their own barriers this season by not only having a white safety, but also a white cornerback. Half of the Eagles’ secondary consists of a pair of honkies. Just a couple of good old boys from Sioux Falls, South Dakota and Athens, Alabama. They are as white as the day is long. As white as a piece of unseasoned chicken. As white as a smoke alarm with full batteries.

Clear eyes. Exciting whites. Can’t lose. This will forever go down as the exciting white match one way or another tonight. I just hope Luke McCaffrey is up for a full night of white-on-white crime. Young man is being strapped down.

@JordieBarstool