Benny Blanco’s Rules for Being a Gentleman (Exclusive)

He is a Grammy-nominated producer, TikTok sensation and a boyfriend of one of the biggest stars in the world.

But Benny Blanco – who has been dating Selena Gomez since 2023 – has no news about him. Growing up in Virginia, “I always felt pretty confident,” says Blanco, 36, who has produced hits for Ed Sheeran and Lana Del Rey. “My mom was like, ‘You’re the best,’ and my brother was always so nice to me. He always paved the way, always made sure people were nice to me. He’s a sweetie.”

His family still keeps him grounded, and with his self-deprecating humor and flair for fashion (“I love a heel!”), Blanco happily redefines masculinity while embracing chivalry.

When it comes to matters of the heart, there should be “no games,” he insists. “I (still) go all out for every date. That doesn’t mean spending your entire bank account. It means being aware and listening.”

Blanco loves gathering loved ones for themed dinner parties at his Los Angeles-area home (keep reading for his top hosting tips!) and can often be found in the kitchen whipping up his girlfriend’s favorite dishes (homemade Taco Bell and deep-fried pickles) , to name a few).

Despite his enormous success, it is the “simple” things that Blanco tastes the most.

“I’m a real morning person. It’s my favorite time to spend with Sel because we both wake up really early. It’s like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up,” he says. “I have a really best friend with whom I can do anything in the world, and every day is the best day of my life.”

1. Learn to cook

Even if you’re terrible at cooking, (your partner will) like it because you did it. Ask your partner what they want to eat. Do not try to cook them what you want to eat. If you don’t know how to cook it – learn it.

If you don’t know how to learn it, get it from Postmates and put it on a plate and pretend you cooked it. No, lying is bad! We never lie. Especially if you’re a guy, we’re disgusting. No one should even look at us. Try being chivalrous: Tell her how beautiful she is. Chivalry is not dead.

(I learned to) recreate Taco Bell meat. I’ve practiced quite a bit, and now I think it’s quite unclear if you put them side by side. There are so many things you have to do. Some of the meat is kind of mixed. It’s disgusting, but it’s delicious. I make it all from scratch.

2. First dates should be experiences

Whatever the date, you want your partner to go and say, “Oh my God, I’m calling all my friends. This was the craziest thing. We were sitting on the back of a tractor trailer that flew and he got me to spin it out…” It has to be crazy because you want to leave an impression. The person is going on a lot of first dates, and you need to secure your place.

I try to create a moment in time because everyone is busy, everyone has so much work to do, everyone is so stressed. If we can just sit back and forget about everything for an hour to four hours – if it’s a good date, five – then that’s good. Don’t you leave a date sometimes and you think, “Oh my God, what the hell? Time flew!”

I go all out on every date. We go above and beyond for each other. Once Sel said, “Oh, I want to take you on a date.” We drove somewhere and she had rented out a whole botanical garden to me. She also likes something so simple. For Valentine’s Day I got her Taco Bell, I made her movie theater nachos, I found her favorite Texas pickles and I deep fried them for her. So (I had) all her candy and Hot Cheetos.

This does not mean that you have to use your entire bank account. The #1 thing to do on a date is just listen to what the person is saying. Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Nobody cares.

3. Dress with confidence

If you’re wearing the most expensive thing that just came out, you’re not fashionable. You are just someone who happens to spend their money. For me it’s about high-low. I might wear a really nice vintage Prada jacket with something I found at Melrose Trading Post for $10.

I think the best thing is to mix it up and be yourself. If you are yourself in your clothes, you will feel more confident. For me, I like to wear a lot of vintage clothes. Some people look good in really fresh clothes. Find your lane and rock it. Don’t try to be someone else.

The last thrift find I’m really proud of is this little pink one Dora the Explorer jacket. It’s so sweet. It’s a cropped pink jacket – I think it’s for a child – and I love it. It makes me feel sexy.

I love sharing clothes (with my partner). It is replaceable. Well, except for some of the dresses and such. They are so hard to get on and off. I wouldn’t even do that. But I wouldn’t mind wearing a dress if it was nice. I have a lot of heels. I love a heel. Women’s shoes are so good. Men wear women’s heels. I don’t know – this gentleman does.

4. Self-care is a must

Don’t stink. Do all the things. I really think it’s important to have good skin. I have a facialist and she changed my life. I do what she says. Her name is Lindsay and she works at Leather craftsman. Wow, I just hooked her up: Can I get a discount?

I also don’t believe in always shampooing or conditioning your hair. I’m really clean, but I don’t shower every day. Some people I know shower two to three times a day, but I feel like the oils on your skin don’t get to rejuvenate and plump up.

I like to use a hodgepodge. I want to smell (like) tobacco, but also like cotton. I want there to be an aroma when I walk by. I want it to smell a little bit masculine, a little bit feminine—I definitely lean a little more feminine in every sense.

5. Welcome everyone to your home (within reason)

I love (hosting). It’s so funny. i love being host. (To a) dinner party you will invite people who do not necessarily all know each other. You want some people to mix, some people to meet that shouldn’t meet.

I like mixing groups of friends. I want someone who writes songs next to an 80-year-old florist. I think age is nothing but a number. I want a 3 year old sitting next to a scientist and just hearing what they’re talking about because I know it’s going to be some crazy s—.

You want to think about a really broad menu that is something that everyone will like. Usually I do a group thread and I say, “Hey, what’s everyone feeling? Let’s do it.” We make themes and everyone wants to make the theme. You want the right drinks. You want the right music.

I want to create a small world. A friend of mine is an amazing Vietnamese chef. We hold a dinner party here and lay out small wooden baskets and banana leaves on the ground. Everyone just wants to escape to some new f—ing place.

6. Treat your mother like a queen

My mother is my best friend. Every Sunday we go to the farmer’s market. I make her lunch, we swim, we gossip about things. She sends me things and says, “Do you think this is true?” I say, “I don’t even know who the two people we’re talking about are.”

My mother loves flowers. For Mother’s Day, I get her the same thing every year: I get her a new orchid. She is so good at taking care of them that before she moved to LA she had a room with like 25 of them because I would give them to her every year and she would keep them and they would never die.

7. Gifts are an art

Don’t buy a gift that everyone else will buy. For me, the best way to do that is to be creative, to listen to something they said in the past and bring it back as a memory.

Most of my gifts are handmade. Let’s say you had the best night at Six Flags and it was your first date. Keep that ticket and frame it and give it to them on their birthday and feel, “Oh, that was our first date.” Simple small gestures go a long way.

The first time Sel and I really had to be long distance for a while, she made a bear that when I shook its hand it said, “I miss you so much. You’re going to be okay. I’ll see you when I get back. ” She is very good at giving gifts. She does the same thing as me: Most of our gifts, we make them for each other.

8. Say no to ghosting

Complete ghosting of someone – I’ve never done that. You have to be demonic to fully prank someone. Ghost is evil! A gentleman should not.

I totally understand if you go out on a date and the guy is totally creepy – you should totally prank him. But I don’t want to prank anyone. I always think when I do something like this, I think about my mom and I’m like, “Oh, I want to treat this person like I would treat my mom and how I would want someone to treat my mom.”